5 Signs Your Family Is in Survival Mode + How to Reset

Does family life constantly feel like you're just trying to make it to the next thing? One more busy week. One more deadline. One more sports season. Then maybe life will finally slow down.

Busy seasons are a normal part of family life, so if you feel this way, you're certainly in good company. But when simply getting through the day becomes your family's normal way of operating, you may have moved beyond being busy and into survival mode which is counter to God’s design for your home.

Family survival mode happens when the demands of life consistently push connection, faith, shared rhythms, and intentional parenting to the side.

How do you know if you've landed here?

Watch this short teaching to discover 5 signs your family may be running on survival mode, how they show up in everyday life, and what Scripture shows us about living differently.

Then, keep reading below for simple ways to reset your family and begin moving out of survival mode one small step at a time, back to what God intended.

How to Get Your Family Out of Survival Mode

If you recognize your family in one, or several, of those signs, don't make getting out of survival mode another thing you have to accomplish.

Start with the sign that feels most prevalent and take one small step. Ready?

1. Reset Your Priorities

If life constantly feels like a moving target, decide what actually deserves your attention in this season. Sometimes, you just need to anchor back into the vision you have for your family and remember what you are building.

How: Take some time to write down what's competing for your family's time and choose your top three priorities right now. Then identify one thing you can pause, simplify, delegate, or simply say “not right now” to.

This week: Remove or reduce one thing that doesn't belong in your family's top three.

2. Reset Your Week

If you're constantly reacting to whatever feels most urgent, take intentional time to look ahead and plan your priorities before the week gets ahead of you. Having a regular check-in to get everyone on the same page helps protect your home from living in a state of hurriedness.

How: Have a short family meeting each week together to look at what's ahead and ask: What does everyone need? What matters most for our family this week?

This week: Choose a day and time for your family meeting and put it on the calendar before everything else fills the space.

3. Reset One Family Rhythm

If your routines are mostly only about helping your family function, don't add another activity. Add greater purpose to something you're already doing. This helps you build family rhythms that support your family culture.

How: Choose one moment in your regular routine like dinner, the drive to school, bedtime, or Saturday breakfast, and use it as a consistent opportunity to pray, connect, celebrate, or remember God's faithfulness together.

This week: Attach one intentional life-giving practice to one of your natural family habits and repeat it consistently over the next seven days. See what begins to shift by adding it into your routine.

4. Reset What You Notice

If discontentment has become easier than gratitude, intentionally practice noticing what's good.

How: For seven days, have everyone name one thing they're thankful for and one way they noticed God's goodness that day as you were going about your routines.

This week: Pick a consistent time to practice gratitude together once a day, like during dinner. Intentionally reflect and ask each other what you are grateful for.

5. Reset Your Direction

If you're maintaining your household but have lost sight of what you're building together, reconnect around purpose by developing a mission statement.

How: Finish this sentence as a family: “In this season, we want to be a family that __________.” (Maybe it's: serves others, makes time for each other, trusts God, welcomes people, or chooses joy.)

This week: Choose one action that puts that statement into practice. Keep that statement written and posted somewhere that everyone sees it regularly as a reminder of where you are going as a family.

Come Out Of Survival Mode: Start With One

Getting out of survival mode doesn't mean that you somehow create a perfectly balanced family or eliminate every busy season. It simply requires becoming a little more intentional again.

Small, intentional choices can begin creating the margin your family needs to reconnect with God, reconnect with one another, and remember what you're building together. Choose one reset. Practice it this week. Then build from there.

For more support in creating a home that doesn't exist in survival and so you can intentionally get out of overwhelm, try the Pruning With A Purpose Mini Series. It will help you identify what can be trimmed away for a season so that you can prioritize connection with the Lord, reset biblical rhythms in your home, and get back to God’s design for your family.