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What Is Family Identity? A Short Guide to Defining Who You Are as a Family

Legacy Stone : Jul 21, 2025 8:00:00 AM

Family Culture

“What is family identity?”

Has anyone ever asked you or your family that question?

Not determined by what your schedule looks like. Not what sports your kids are in. Not how well you meal prep. But really, how do you define family identity?

Now what is your family identity?

If that question makes you pause, you’re not alone. And if you haven’t asked yourself that question, do it now.

What the World Says about Family Identity (and Why It’s Not Enough)

The Western culture around you is loud. It tells you your family identity should come from performance, busyness, success, or how polished everything looks from the outside - the long-time phrase of “Keeping Up With The Jones’” might ring a bell here.

As a parent, you might identify your family by your perspective of your relationship with your spouse or your kids. Your family identity might be found in the "successful sports family” title or the “family that only goes to church at holidays” misnomer. In the words of Legacy Stone CEO, Bill High, "Western family centers on independence and identity found in achievements. But a biblical family focuses on legacy and interdependence."

So what ends up happening? You’re exhausted, trying to do all the right things, but still wondering why it all feels a little empty. That’s because chasing status, successes, and schedules don’t create identity. That creates pressure.

And here’s the hard truth: if you don’t define your family identity, the world will.

So... What Is Family Identity Really?

Family identity is the God-given purpose and character of a family. Establishing what is family identity is summed up in the idea that identity is something you receive from God and live out and pursue for His glory.

When you know who you are as a family in God’s eyes, you stop chasing the world’s version of “success” and shift your thinking to God’s strength in who He has called your family to be.

How Do You Actually Find Your Family Identity?

Keep it simple but keep everyone involved. Sit down with your family and ask:
“Who are we, at the core, as a family, through the lens of who God says we are?”

Here’s how to get started:

Zoom Out and Ask: “What Defines Us?”
Not just what you do, but list the traits that describe how your home feels, how you respond under pressure, what your kids are taking in without even realizing it. What are deep spiritual ties God has created within your family?

Name Your Spiritual DNA
Pick a few words that describe who you are becoming in Christ as a family. Think identity, not activity. Words like:

Rooted (Colossians 2:7)
Set apart (1 Peter 2:9)
Joyful (Romans 12:12)
Peace-seekers (Matthew 5:9)
Truth-bearers (John 17:17)

Write It Like You Mean It
Pull it all together into one identity statement into something that reflects your family’s character, calling, and spiritual foundation.
“Our family's foundation is truth, our journey is defined by grace, and our pursuit is peace..” or “We are a home where Christ is first, people feel safe, and faith is lived out everyday, unapologetically and unconditionally.”

That’s it. Don’t overthink it. You’re just giving language to the spiritual family identity that God already placed in you.

Identity is Now, Legacy is Tomorrow

While it's important to remain in a posture of operating out of what your family identity is, it’s also the time to think long-term. Your family identity goes hand in hand with what you will pass down and echo for generations to come.

So how can you manage today - your actions, your conversations, your daily walk - to reflect the legacy that you're wanting to build for tomorrow, the day after, and for years to come?

The 7 Generation Family Legacy Study helps you walk out the intention and purpose of this legacy by teaching lessons on: