A How-To: Defining and Building Strong Family Culture and Values

Family culture and family values. Simply put, these are the ways your family lives life together and the beliefs your family lives by. 

If you have young children, maybe you haven’t yet explored what these will look like in your home. If you have teenagers, you’re in the thick of living these day in and day out. And for those of you that have adult children, family culture and values are still at play, being passed down through your legacy as we speak. 

Let’s learn or just refresh on how to view family culture and values together: 

How to Define Family Culture and Values

Family culture is the unique environment your family creates together; the rhythms, traditions, and daily practices that shape how you connect, communicate, and grow. It’s the “feel” of your home, the way you celebrate, resolve conflict, and support one another.

Family values, on the other hand, are the guiding principles that define what matters most to you. They are the beliefs and convictions that influence your decisions and actions. Think of them as the compass that directs your family’s journey.

Why You Need Both Culture and Values

They are interconnected, but not replaceable. To have a more successful and purposeful family, you need both family culture and values. 

If you have culture but no values, your home might become a place of occasional memories, but it will also become a place of chaos. Without your values, your family won’t feel grounded and won’t keep everyone going back to the same roots. 

And if you have values, but no culture, well, where’s the fun in that? You’re not establishing strong habits in your children from a young age. You’re missing out on opportunities to celebrate the big and small celebrations in life. Or you might be stabbing in the wind at goals you want to obtain because there’s no clear game plan.

One needs the other and your family deserves to have both family culture and values. Because when you are steadfast in having your culture driven by your values, your family will face trials, conflict and even the celebrations of life based on the foundation of values you have built. In the good times and the bad, they will have something to go back to that keeps them grounded in what truly matters most. 

Now let’s take a look at examples of how one plays into the other.

Examples of Integrating Family Culture and Values

Here are a few examples of how you could use a specific value to impact your family culture and vice versa: 

• Generosity: If generosity is a core value, your family might regularly participate in giving of your time, skills, talents and resources. The more generous you are, the more you are allowing it to become a consistent byproduct of your culture. Look for more ways to establish your giving and put a plan behind it using our quick Giving Plan Guide. 
• Worship: Your family might choose “worship” to be a core value in your lives. This means worship is going to show up in how you do life. Maybe that means praying together, playing worship music around the house. Over time, it solidifies to your children and your family that the culture of your home is centered on godly worship. 
• Adventure: If you value adventure, over time, it’s going to establish a culture of curiosity, flexibility, and fun for your family! You might find yourselves saying “yes” more often to things like road trips, new foods, or spontaneous weekend plans. That sense of adventure becomes part of your family’s identity and builds a culture where trying new things and making memories together is the norm.

Whatever the value is, whatever it might be or whatever you want it to be, there is no right answer. The right answer is to just start! Your values can change and are fluid over time - but make a concerted effort to get started today on exploring and defining what they are to you and your family. 

Put Your Family Culture and Values Into Practice

Creating the kind of family culture that you want for yourselves and defining your values doesn't have to be overwhelming. Start with these easy, intentional resources:

• Identify Your Values: Use our Identifying Family Values Conversation Guide Worksheet to start discussions about what matters most to your family. 
• Talk About Family Culture: Have quick, guided conversation using our Family Culture Conversation Starters to talk about identity, faith, celebrations and so much more. 
• Use Every Tool You Can: We have built an entire resource center, dedicated to Family Culture and Values. Check out more tools like your Family Values Conversation Starters, introducing and integrating values in your life, strong habits for strong family culture or how to do a family culture check-in when the time comes!