Family Conversation Starters for Family Culture

Are you asking the right questions with your family? If you want to build a strong family culture, you need a regular practice to reflect, plan, and evaluate together. Your family dynamic is more than just activities you do together. It’s built on your stories, faith, identity, and other key components– all of which you need to review regularly!

Let’s look at what family culture is and the questions to ask as a family.

Understanding Family Culture

You tend to hear the idea of “culture” when it comes to workplaces. “Tell me about your office culture,” is a common work interview question we ask to get the sense of what the company is like and what it values. However, it also applies to families. Every family has a culture, whether you realize it or not.

Family Culture Definition: 

The attitudes, values, and practices of a group of people that set a way of life.

Just like a business, a culture sets how you operate together, and it often defines the overall experience– are people happy, frustrated, connected, disengaged in your culture?

This is why you need an intentional plan to create your family’s culture. A healthy family culture brings structure, clarity, and identity. The best place to get started is by gaining awareness of what is currently shaping your family’s culture.

Family Culture Conversation Starters

Your family culture is made up of multiple elements and actions, so you need to start conversations and evaluation around all these areas. Write down questions that stand out to you, and add your own ideas for family conversation starters as you go through these.

Use these questions to get your family reflecting, planning, and evaluating culture together:

Family Culture Conversation Starters on History

Strong family culture is often tied to stories. When we understand where we have come from and how these stories shape us (things we will no longer do, things we continue etc.), it helps set the tone of your culture.

• Is there anything from our family past that we’re avoiding or should revisit with grace?
• What’s a story or lesson from our family’s history that you have found applicable recently?
• What is a story you would want future generations to remember about our family?
• Is there context or a story you wish you knew from our family?

Family Culture Conversation Starters on Identity

Our society tends to focus on individual identity, but a shared identity as a family is also a powerful tool. It will adapt through different life seasons, but when you all have clarity on what shapes who you are, it gets easier to walk out what you value. Use these questions to assess your family identity in your family culture.

• How well do you feel like our family has been operating with unity in our purpose and who we are? What could improve?
• What messages do you feel like are shaping who we are as a family currently?
• What are 4 words you would use to describe our family currently? Why did you choose those?
• When do you feel like we are at our best as a family? Is there a recent experience that helps demonstrate that?

Family Culture Conversation Starters on Faith

As a Christian family, your faith should play a central role in your family culture. It’s not just reserved for Sundays, but rather it can be a robust part of your family life when integrated into your family culture. Use these questions to understand how your faith is being applied and your family’s experiences.

• What faith practices have been especially impactful for our family in the last season? Is there anything new we want to try?
• How have we been growing spiritually individually and collectively as a family? What can we do to encourage each other in these?
• Tell us about a way you have seen God show up recently in your life.
• What does it mean to “live out our faith” as a family right now? What actions or behaviors define this for us?

Family Culture Conversation Starters on Goals & Dreams

When you have shared goals and dreams as a Christian family, you can start to make progress together. A healthy Christian family culture keeps you moving forward and having excitement for what God is leading you towards. Use these questions to evaluate together, or if you need help on setting some goals first, use our template here.

• What progress have we made on our goals as a family this month? 
• What is something that gets you excited about for our family’s future? Something to accomplish, something we’re already doing, etc?
• If you could change one thing about how we are doing life as a family right now, what would it be?
• How are we encouraging each other to take risks and dream together?

Family Culture Conversation Starters on Celebrations

One of the best parts of a healthy family culture is that you regularly celebrate together. It’s more than just holidays or birthdays but that you all are actively recognizing how God has led you and creating space to pause, rest, and celebrate. This practice will help keep your family grounded in gratitude. Here are some ways to check in:

• What is a way you felt celebrated and valued recently and what made that meaningful?
• What is a milestone or small win recently that you’d like to share?
• Have the celebrations we’ve had added more stress to our lives or more shared meaning? What could be done to improve these?
• How well do the celebration traditions we have reflect our family identity and values? Anything we want to add or change?

Build Your Family Culture with Intention

Now that you have these key areas to evaluate the strength of your family’s culture, you need to compile your own list of questions that you’ll use as a family to check-in. Save ideas from the lists above and add your own.

When regular communication becomes a rhythm, it becomes easier to address issues, instead of waiting until things boil over. Strong cultures start when you are willing to talk and to learn from each other.

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Looking for more help on what a strong faith-based family looks like? Join our FREE mini-course, “Winning as a Family.” You’ll find 3 quick videos and teaching tips to help you start your journey to success.