4 Steps for Introducing Values in a Blended Family

God's design for family looks different from the world's. He created family to bring redemption to the world and to reflect His heart for His people. Your blended family is part of that picture.

Bringing two families into one has its own challenges, and the early days can often feel like everyone's on a different page. As you figure out how to be one family in this new season, one of the steadiest places to start is by defining your values together. It gives everyone the same foundation to build from.

4 STEPS TO INTRODUCE VALUES IN A BLENDED FAMILY

Introducing values in a blended family comes down to these four steps: gather for a family meeting, talk about what values matter most to you, choose the ones you'll carry forward together, and build rhythms that keep them part of your family’s daily life.

If your family is still finding its footing, shared values provide a common ground that brings everyone together. Here's how to begin.

STEP 1 - SET A FAMILY MEETING

Start by setting a family meeting to gather and connect. A few things make getting started with these meetings work better in a blended family:

• Choose a day and time for this first conversation where everyone will have time to focus
• Create basic communication guidelines so that everyone gets to speak and be heard
• Decide on an agenda so the conversation stays focused and no one feels put on the spot

STEP 2 - DEFINE YOUR “WHY” TOGETHER

As you start the meeting, talk about why you're defining values together. In a blended home, everyone comes in with their own assumptions about how things "should" work, so getting on the same page about the goal you're working toward together matters.

Ask what you each hope your family looks like a few years from now, and what kind of home you want to live in together. This values conversation worksheet is a helpful starting point.

STEP 3 - CHOOSE AND WRITE OUT YOUR FAMILY VALUES

With your why in mind, have everyone look through this list of family values and name the ones that stand out. Write them all down in one place, and look for the same values that were shared.

Once you've talked them through, narrow your list to a top five that you can agree on, and write them down. Treat this like a test run and agree to practice these for month and revisit together

STEP 4 - SET RHYTHMS TO REINFORCE THESE VALUES

Values stick when a family lives them out, and that happens through rhythms: the everyday habits and routines that put your values into practice. For a blended family, these shared rhythms help reinforce your values and start building a new family culture together. (This guide on building family rhythms can help you find ones that fit your season.)

START BUILDING YOUR FAMILY’S FOUNDATION TODAY

Bringing two families together is hard, and defining your values won't get rid of all of your differences overnight. But it does give everyone something to build on together - a shared foundation that will last. Being able to work toward a shared vision together, starting with your shared values, will help you live out the purpose God has for your family today.

Try out this conversation and see where it leads!

–

Want to understand more about your family's dynamic and where to grow next? Our Family Survey helps you assess where your family is today and determine the next steps to build a stronger foundation together.