5 Family Communication Rules to Implement in Your Home

Think about how Jesus communicated with the woman at the well in John 4. He approached her with grace and asked thought-provoking questions, while patiently listening to her responses. Even though He knew her past, He spoke with kindness and offered her living water. He didn’t react out of judgment or frustration, but with love and understanding.

As parents, we are called to communicate in the same way. Setting family communication rules based on Jesus' example can help create a home filled with grace, respect, and understanding. 

Let’s break down 5 family rules that will help you communicate with the same approach that He demonstrated:

Family Communication Rule 1: Understanding Is Winning

Ephesians 4:29 urges us to “let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up.”

• Rule: “We will speak to understand, not to win.”
• Action: When a conflict arises, focus on listening, not defending your position. Ask questions that encourage understanding, not accusations.

Family Communication Rule 2: The 5-Second Rule

James 1:19 reminds us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak.”

• Rule: “We will take at least 5-10 seconds before responding.”
• Action: In heated moments, pause for a few seconds before replying. This small break helps avoid impulsive words and allows space for thought.

Family Communication Rule 3: Speak in Full Transparency

Ephesians 4:15 says, “Speak the truth in love.”

• Rule: “We will communicate honestly, with love being our guide.”
• Action: Be honest, but choose words that are respectful, oriented on the problem, not the person. Instead of “You always mess this up,” try, “I feel frustrated when this happens, and I’d like to work together to fix it.”

Family Communication Rule 4: Use Silence as a Tool

Proverbs 17:28 says, “Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent.”

• Rule: “We will use silence to reflect and choose our words carefully.”
• Action: In the heat of an argument, sometimes stepping back and staying silent gives you time to reflect and avoid escalating the situation. Not everything needs a response.

Family Communication Rule 5: Take Extreme Ownership

Proverbs 12:18 teaches, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

• Rule: “We will own our emotions and take extreme ownership.”
• Action: Recognize when emotions are driving your communication. If you’re upset, express your feelings clearly and calmly, like, “I’m feeling hurt right now, can we talk?”

Before implementing these rules for your family communication, do a quick communication check-in with each other. We’ve put together this quick guided discussion to ensure you are on the same page about your communication process, questions to ask each other, and more before setting rules in place. 

To Be More Like Jesus

So, are you ready to take the next step toward healthier communication in your home? Start by checking out our comprehensive guide on How to Create a Family Conflict Process. This resource will help you establish a framework that encourages resolution, empathy, and understanding within your family. Start laying the ground work now for resolution and understanding in your family today.