Evaluation and reflection are paramount both as individuals and as families during the holidays and into the new year. It forces your family to slow down and focus on what’s working, what’s not, where is God calling you to focus more and stay in alignment with His will for your lives.
It’s easy to set new goals as an individual- we want to work harder in our marriages, climb the career ladder at work, lose a few of those pesky holiday pounds, or be more intentional in our time with our kids.
But knowing where to start in your evaluation process as a family can sometimes feel daunting or overwhelming.
We’ve compiled a list of 5 key areas to start with in your quest to learn how to evaluate as a family this calendar year. These include both areas of growth, strength, celebration, and looking ahead!
Lets get started:
Every family has room to grow, whether it’s in communication or the rhythms that you’ve set for your family. Begin by asking open-ended questions that are direct in language but still invite everyone to be honest and transparent.
For example: “Where did we struggle this past year?” or “What habits could we improve on as a family?” or even deeper, “Where has God been nudging us to grow as a family?”
This is about bringing initial awareness to these areas. By identifying areas for growth, your family can take whatever steps you feel appropriate to initiate the needed growth. That could include: setting a routine that includes church as a non-negotiable on Sundays or truly allowing rest in your home by honoring the Sabbath with no outside distractions.
And don’t stop there- get specific about the questions you’re asking that evaluate where your family culture health and growth is and where it’s trending.
Equally important in knowing how to evaluate as a family is acknowledging your family’s strengths. Reaffirming to yourself and to each other where you naturally grow and are strong will capitalize on what matters most as you move forward in the next year.
Maybe your family excels at living out your family values on a daily basis or celebrates well together in times of success.
Take time to highlight these areas during your discussion- write these strengths down to come back and visit them as the time goes on. Talk about these reflections in your next family meeting or in a specific discussion, before you might go into something else. Leading with the good will always start your family on the right tone.
A key part of how to evaluate as a family is inviting spiritual growth.
Ask: “Where do we need to invite God in more?” This might include praying together more intentionally, studying specific scripture as a family, or rewiring yourselves to seek God’s guidance first in decision-making.
The temperature of today’s world will be sure to do one thing consistently: pull your children and your family in opposite, secular directions. So make sure that when those push-and-pull moments are happening, that both yourself and your children are in a practice and heart-posture of inviting God into the situation, the conversation, or the decision first.
Use this verse to fall back on in these times as a gentle reminder: Matthew 7:7: "Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."
How to evaluate as a family also includes evaluating where obedience (whether to God, to family principles aka values) can be improved.
Consider: Are there commitments your family has made that need attention? Are there patterns or behaviors that could be more aligned with your “family standards”?
Being honest in this area can be challenging, but it instills accountability and helps your family act in ways that reflect your family values (those values could be things like integrity, accountability, obedience, and more).
Finally, effectively knowing how to evaluate as a family will always include planning. This doesn’t necessarily mean rigid schedules, but more so areas like intentional preparation for potential conflicts, big decisions, or future goals.
A plan also doesn’t have to be a one-size-fits-all. These plans may include:
In short, the places where you feel the most confusion, conflict, or inconsistency are usually the places signaling that a plan would serve your family well.
Understanding how to evaluate as a family and starting with these simple areas of practice will set a tone and an ongoing rhythm for your family. This is important for your family because as your seasons of life change, knowing where, when and how to continue evaluating together will bring you all back to a common baseline. It will allow for natural resets along the way and keep everyone operating from the same language, purpose and expectations!
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Continued growth for your family might also include an organized, intentional plan. If you are ready to craft a plan that will help move you from adrift to intentional as a family, the 7 Generation Family Legacy Study is for you.
Your family will walk away with your own unique guiding set of values, vision, and mission, and a plan on how to implement these!