4 Ways to Teach Your Family Values into The Holidays

The holidays can feel like a whirlwind; travel, planning, decorations, gatherings, food, more travel. Yet it's in these busiest seasons that we have some of the richest opportunities to address an important question: how do you teach values in real life (and especially in the busyness of the holidays?) 

It’s important to have a clear baseline of values and understand when and where to integrate them. You don’t want them to just stay a “good idea" in your head”. You need to establish values so that they begin to become part of your family’s identity, traditions, and even the holiday madness. 

Let’s work through practical tips for teaching your core values so your kids can see what matters most, especially around the holidays where the principles of what matters most can sometimes become skewed. 

How You Teach Values This Holiday Season

Tip 1: How Do You Teach Values in the Holiday Traditions?

You might already have holiday traditions- the way you decorate your Christmas tree, what you eat for Thanksgiving dinner, how you open gifts, who you gather with for each holiday. 

Rather than starting from scratch, look at what your family already does and ask: “What is this tradition saying about who we are and what we value?” 

Remember, family traditions are key in building a strong family culture, which helps you lean more into your values on a regular basis and recognize them with ease!

The goal isn’t to do more, it’s to bring more meaning into what’s already there.

Here’s how to start:

• Talk about the values beneath the tradition. Don’t just do it. Be sure to make the connection of the value it reflects (i.e. rest, intentionality, togetherness are a few values that could come to mind in this example)
• Identify the values that are already embedded. You may find that hospitality shows up every time you host a meal, or that thoughtfulness is present in how you wrap gifts. Point those values out. Call them what they are.
• Make small adjustments that reinforce what matters. You don’t need to overhaul your holiday. Just ask: “From our running list of family values, what areas can we keep doing but with clearer intention and purpose?”

At each talking point, ask your kids: “Why are we doing this?”, thereby modeling how you teach values through intentionally driven choices.

Tip 2: How Do You Teach Values in the Holiday Lulls?

Holidays offer natural pauses: travel time, waiting in line, sitting around the fireplace, lounging on the couch after eating too much turkey. 

Use these down times to pepper in small, open-ended questions that intentionally connect back to your values:

On a Car Ride

• Value Focus: Kindness, Generosity, Awareness
• Question: “What’s one way we’ve seen kindness this week and how can we carry that into tomorrow?”

While Decorating or Cooking Together

• Value Focus: Tradition, Gratitude, Intentionality
• Question: “Why does our family do this (specific tradition) each year? What value does it represent for us?”

Lounging After a Meal

• Value Focus: Gratitude, Rest, Contentment
• Question: “What’s one thing we’re thankful for today that we didn’t expect?”

At Evening Wind-Down

• Value Focus: Faith, Wisdom, Hope
• Question: “What is one thing God is teaching us through this season?”

By integrating these into the natural down-time of the holiday season (while it may be few and far between), you answer the question “how do you teach values” not with a lecture, but in the natural rhythm of these moments together. 

Tip 3: How Do You Teach Values in Holiday Conflict?

Holiday seasons may bring tension through conflicting schedules, unmet expectations, stress, or travel mishaps. Don’t sweep them under the rug. Instead, use them as teachable moments for values like patience, humility, forgiveness, and trust.

• When frustration surfaces, pause and say: “This is a moment to practice patience. How might we lean on God and lean on each other here?”
• If someone feels overlooked or hurt, don’t rush past it. Ask: “How can we repair, honor, or apologize here?”
• Remind your kids that values are not just for perfect moments—they are most visible when things get messy.

While integrating and ensuring your values remain a part of things, even conflict, don’t let your conflict continue to go unaddressed. Consider having a quick evaluation conversation about your conflict (and try to approach it from a biblical lens that will ultimately bring true reconciliation with the right heart posture for everyone!)

Practice Introduction Before Integration

If you feel you need to take a step back and start with introducing these values before integrating them, find a natural rhythm for that. Introduction first is key, establishing the main idea of your values, and then working on the daily integration into your lives is what comes next!

If someone asks you, “How do you teach values?” during the holiday season, your answer is simple: Live them, talk about them, and invite your kids into them, even in the mess. Holidays shouldn’t be distractions from your core values. They are perfect and powerful spaces to put your values into practice at each turn.