Values as a family are great ideals but not often fully implemented. However, God intended values to be one of the most transformative (and simple!) tools that your family could have for multi-generational success.
Let’s take a deeper look at the categories of values as a family you need and how you can maximize the full benefit of these family values. Scroll to the end for the exact values checklist you can use to stay on track!
The dictionary defines values as “moral and ethical principles of behavior” or the more simple concept is that values are like anchors. They keep your family from drifting. They help you stay connected securely to what matters most.
Now, when values are applied as a family and not just individually, it means that they are setting the standard for you all collectively. It shapes your individual actions but also how you live as a family unit. Values as a family guide all your decisions, priorities, and behaviors together. They help set the tone.
Imagine if you asked your neighbor to describe your family with 5 words, what would you want those 5 traits to be? That’s the power of values as a family– the traits that define your lives.
If you go online, you can find many extensive lists of different values, and it can feel overwhelming to sort through. You’ll probably even agree with most of the ideas you see, so you need a better mechanism to develop your values as a family.
We highly recommend using the idea of categories when it comes to values. When you organize values under key themes, it becomes clearer how they apply to the different aspects of your lives. There are two key strategies you can take when it comes to values categories:
Start with a broad list of values and circle all the ideas that stand out to you. Once you have that list, look for the themes in what you circled and use that to narrow down into categories.
(For example, if you circled lots of words about happiness, encouraging, cheerful, etc., maybe your values category is “Attitudes”.)
The second strategy is to identify the key areas of your life that are most crucial for your values to be present, and work on identifying a key value or two per category you choose. For example, categories like:
Once you have picked a few key categories to focus on, now you can begin to generate ideas of the traits that best support those categories. Remember, less is more here. You really only need 3-6 total values if you want them to be memorable and applicable.
As you work on ideas, it’s worth noting that choosing values doesn't mean you will ignore other positive actions you could take as a family. Values just are an underlying theme that your actions and decisions get tied back to. We often even encourage families once they identify their initial values to think about other words/behaviors that tie back to those values, so it’s clear how these values as a family are represented through a whole variety of potential ways you live.
As you develop and practice your values as a family, the most common pitfall we see simply is that families lose momentum. Values fall to the side and are not woven into everyday life. But when values diminish, families drift. Don’t underestimate this potential impact!
If you want to help your family stay on track and maximize the impact of values on your family, you need a regular practice to check-in as a family on your values and their application.
While it might seem simple, it’s one of the keys to family success most people overlook. Families that check-in together build crucial habits of communication and repetition. Intentionality will always be a driving factor of your success (or failure) as a family.
Through our work with families all across different stages, here are some important questions we have found to be impactful to check in as a family. Use this family values checklist to stay in tune with how your values as a family are being implemented.
Now that you have values created, here are two essentials you need to focus on to keep maximizing the impact of values in your family:
The best way to prevent drift in your family has far less to do with huge overhauls in your family and far more to do with the simple but essential practices you keep nurturing. Set these anchors through values as a family today!
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Need further help to make values real and practical in your family? Get full access to our powerful tool for families in the 7 Generation Family Legacy experience.
Through 7 digital sessions, you will walk away with a clear game-plan for the foundations your family needs with clear vision, values, and mission, and how to keep implementing these. Learn more at: https://legacystone.com/families/family-legacy-study