The Quick Indicators for What Makes a Family Successful

The hard part about success is you don’t always know until after the fact, and especially when it comes to family, that’s not something you want to leave to chance or just hope for the best. And the extra layer of challenge when it comes to success as a family is that it isn’t just things like education or jobs secured– it’s about much deeper things like values being lived out, functioning as a team in all seasons, etc.

That is a lot to live up to, so we want to help equip your family with the indicators of success that will help you know if you are on track in the foundation you are building. These are indicators we have seen from years of serving faith-led families!

THE CATEGORIES OF WHAT MAKES A FAMILY SUCCESSFUL

To get started on understanding success as a family, it is helpful to break it down into a few core categories. Pay attention to if there is a particular category that stands out to you as an area of challenge, and that might be your next area of focus.

CENTER: WHAT MAKES A FAMILY SUCCESSFUL

One of the simplest starting points to family success is what we refer to as “Center”-- the expression of your family’s and values. The important note here for family success is that word “expression”. Faith and values don’t matter a whole lot if they aren’t being used! Here are a few indicators when it comes to your center to know you are on the right track:

• Your children are taking ownership of their faith habits themselves.
• Your family actively finds ways to give back to the Lord.
• You treat discipleship like it starts in your home, as opposed to relying only on other sources to help your kids grow in the faith.
• Your children can connect their actions back to specific values.
• You have regular practices as a family that help you live out what matters most.
• Faith is an important part of your family’s shared identity.

CULTURE: WHAT MAKES A FAMILY SUCCESSFUL

From research studies and even the families we have served, family culture is a crucial component to family success. Culture helps tell your family who they are and sets the standard of how you live.

• If you were to ask each family member individually for the words that define who your family is and who it should not be, they would all have similar answers.
• You all can regularly recognize decisions or actions that don’t feel in alignment with the environment of the home/family you want to create.
• You have consistent routines for celebration as a family.
• You have regular habits that keep your family connected and up-to-date with each other.
• Family is a place that provides loving challenge. You make each other better intentionally.

PURPOSE: WHAT MAKES A FAMILY SUCCESSFUL

If you want a successful family, you all have to be headed in the same direction. Perhaps one of the greatest failings we see in modern society is the idea of hyper-individualism. When individual success is the ONLY goal, we lose the other important component of family purpose. God designed your family to be unique individuals who all still function as part of the larger team for a purpose. Here are some ways to track this:

• You have defined goals as a family that shape your actions, not just something you work on occasionally.
• You choose specific actions and behaviors as a family because you have a clear sense of what God is calling you to do.
• You regularly talk about hopes and dreams as a family, and it’s something you all share excitement about.
• You don’t let activities and busyness push what matters to your family to the back-burner. You regularly review your life and prune as needed.
• You prioritize community as a way to live out what God intended for your family, serving and living generously.

COMMUNICATION: WHAT MAKES A FAMILY SUCCESSFUL

Those previous areas all don’t matter if your family struggles to communicate. We have to be able to understand each other, share the things that matter, and know how to navigate the challenges. Perfect families are never the goal but knowing how to navigate life well is the point. Here are key indicators of communication in a healthy family:

• Your children openly share what is on their hearts and minds, knowing that home is a safe space.
• Your family isn’t afraid to bring ideas and discuss them because you all know you will be able to create something good with collaboration.
• When you go through conflict, it isn’t a big deal because you know that restoration is the goal.
• You all have awareness and the desire to adapt to each other’s personality types so everyone feels understood and loved as they are.
• You have a system to tell and document important stories for the family so key lessons aren’t forgotten.

GETTING PAINFULLY HONEST ABOUT YOUR FAMILY’S SPECIFIC SUCCESS INDICATORS

Now that you have all 4 categories, where real honesty kicks in is when you look at the level of intentionality you bring to each of those indicators. All of them are wonderful ideas that none of us would disagree with, and probably most would even say you do care about those things. However, that is not enough to care and generally try.

Try this first step: Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 how intentional your family is with the indicators above. (With 10 being, you have documented specific plans that guide you consistently, and 1 being you care about these ideas but there isn’t a defined process beyond generally trying to do good things for your family.)

The best advice we’d have to successful families is they take growth and intentionality seriously. They get diligent to create habits and processes to stay on track. It doesn’t have to be complicated or a long to-do list. The point just is you need the map to follow!

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We know creating that roadmap can be the sticking point for families, so we developed our own resource based off these years of serving families just like yours. The Winning Family Culture was created to help you develop a plan for your culture that will keep you on track with God’s design.