Written By: Legacy Stone Director of Training, Tom Blaylock
Last night we had our daughter and three grandchildren (ages almost 5 to 5 months) over for dinner. Afterwards we walked down the road for ice cream and our evening concluded with races in the back yard with the two oldest. (Those kids were sugared up!)
One of the many blessings of being called “Grandpa” by these little ones is remembering the time when our three children were those same ages. Yes, as anyone my age (58) will tell you, “The days are long, but the years are short.” Looking back over 30 years of being called “Dad” by two daughters and a son, how is the legacy of fatherhood unfolding?
Let’s start with the most important things Sandi and I did with our children when they were very young: we read God’s word to them, we prayed with them every night, and we involved them in the life of our church. My role in all of that? I led the way. Dads, please hear me on this – there is nothing more important you can do for your children (and marriage) than taking the mantle of leadership for their spiritual growth and development. Period. (So please, put down your phone or whatever else is consuming your time and attention and invest deeply into your kids before the opportunity passes you by.)
I wish I could go on to tell you about the next wonderful thing I did as a father, but the truth is I had as many struggles as successes. A huge struggle for me in my early 30s was looking to my job performance to validate my worth. I was serving as a pastor in a very young church plant and my personal identity became enmeshed with the health and growth of that church. This put me on an emotional roller coaster that left me feeling anxious, depressed, and burned out within a few years. Eventually I sank into a morass of self-absorbed cynicism and lethargy.
Men of faith, please listen to me: You are not what you do. You are not how much you make. You are not how effective you are at your job. You are first, and last, and always a beloved son of God. If you get fired from you job tomorrow you are no less that beloved son. Trying to prove your worth outside of the grace and truth of Christ will only set you up for insecurity, discontentment, endless comparisons, and the inescapable anxiety that you may not measure up after all.
Yep, you are going to make a lot of mistakes, and some of them are going to hurt the people you love most. And, believe it or not, the enduring strength of your legacy will come through the way you
struggled and at times got it completely wrong. You see, the best gift we can give to our children and grandchildren is being a living, breathing example of the Gospel. By confessing our mistakes and sins, turning away from living life on our own terms, and placing our trust and hope in the person of Jesus Christ we point future generations to the Living Water that will cleanse and sustain them forever.
Here are three encouragements to all of you dads out there who want to truly bless
those following in your footsteps:
1. Connect your children and grandchildren to the word of God and prayer (a relationship with God) – the only sure foundation they can stand on is word of God and new life through the Son of God.
2. Involve your children and grandchildren in a local church – they need their spiritual family to nourish them and give them opportunities to serve.
3. Tell your stories of successes and failures – but especially those times you struggled, turned to God for help, and experienced the goodness and deliverance of Christ.
Remember the words of Jesus as you ponder those questions:
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear
much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” ~ John 15:5
Apart from Christ we will fail. Abiding in Christ we will have the grace and truth to grow into the husbands and fathers God calls us to be.