The holiday season offers a natural reflection point to ask: Is our family practicing gratitude and generosity? How are these practices showing up in our family, and how are we extending them to the world around us?
Generosity begins in our own hearts by cultivating gratitude. So this holiday season, help equip your family to begin practicing gratitude with these conversation starters. You’ll use the first 10 to talk about the things you’ve seen God provide and what you are thankful for. Then, use the next 10 to talk about the ways you can pass on those blessings to others through generosity.
Once you’ve gone through these 20 family conversation starters, you can plan one action to take together from an answer that stood out to you all.
What is a prayer God answered for you this season?
What is something you didn't ask for that turned out to be a gift?
What is a need that you saw God provide in this season?
What is one ordinary thing from this week you're thankful for?
Who made your year better, and have you told them?
What's a hard thing from this year that God used for good?
What is your favorite memory from time spent with family?
What is something that you are glad our family started doing together?
What is one meaningful way someone in the family showed up for you?
What attribute of our family have you enjoyed the most this year?
Who was generous to you this year, and why was it meaningful to you?
What’s the best gift you received this year that didn’t cost any money? Why was it your favorite?
Where did you give your time to someone and how did you see the fruit of it?
What would you enjoy giving more of your time to? What makes it enjoyable for you?
What gift or talent has God given you that you could use to help someone you’re around often?
How can we be generous with our words this week?
Who around us might feel lonely this holiday season, and how could we include them?
How can we be more generous with each other at home?
Who in our family gives generously in a way that you admire? What is it that stands out to you?
What is something we can give to as a family before Christmas this year? Why is it important to you
Use the tips below that are most relevant to the season your family is in. These act as a guide to help you go deeper with these questions, so you can learn more about what your family values from your answers and how you can keep living those out together.
If you have older kids, write down the questions you are going to ask the family ahead of time and give everyone some time to journal or think through their answers before discussing. After you've all had some thoughtful reflection time, bring your answers to your next family meeting. Ask the questions you prepared out loud and have each person go around and share their answers.
If you have younger kids, set up some craft paper at your kitchen table, along with some fun coloring and crafting supplies. When you ask the questions above, have them draw what comes to mind first. If they prefer to talk about it instead, that’s okay, too. Whatever makes them feel most engaged in the conversation. Once they’re done crafting, have everyone go around and share their drawings and answers that they felt most excited about and why.
Every answer points to something your family cares about. Ask why each person answered the way they did, then connect their answer back to your family values. Any time you can connect your answers back to your values, you reinforce what is most important to your family.
For example, if someone says they’re thankful for coffee with a close friend this week, ask about that friendship. If friendship is one of your family values, talk about how that moment reflects it.
Use these follow-up questions to dig deeper:
What made that moment meaningful to you?
What does that show us about what our family cares about?
How can we make more room for that in our family?
Close your time together by choosing one action from your answers. It might be a thank-you note to someone who made your year better, or a dinner invitation to a neighbor who could feel lonely this season. Pick one, put it on the calendar, and make it a priority to do together.
Keep returning to these questions throughout the season. Gratitude and generosity grow through practice, and each conversation gives your family another chance to live out what you value.
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Your family values are the foundation for how you live out gratitude and generosity together. If you feel like you need a more solid foundation to build from, the Values in Action Kit gives you the building blocks to define your values and turn them into everyday habits. Start building yours today!